Sunday, February 15, 2009

Parade of Idiots

I just love it when people come in the store during the parades and ask me if I’m enjoying my Mardi Gras. Sure, I love drunken morons and working 14 hour days. Doesn’t everyone?

Not everything was bad though, there were a some good or amusing moments. And some bad stuff too. First the good or funny things.

I pull up to work with the stereo on kinda loud. A regular customer says, “What are you listening to, fucking opera?” I smile sweetly and reply, “No. It’s just regular opera.” It wasn’t opera at all. I was listening to Ungrateful Girl by Mors Syphilitica. I go inside and a couple of minutes later, he comes in to tell me I was being sarcastic. Really? Kinda slow on the uptake there Buddy!

One of my favorite couples came in, Del and Beth. They are so fun. I wish I had more time – a normal life – so I could actually hang out with them some time. Del is looking for a seamstress to make pirate stuff. He met someone who does that sort of thing but she likes to do things authentically, very detailed. I like to “Frankenstein” my garments, mixing parts together for the look.

Teresa stopped by for a few minutes today. I never get to see her anymore and I miss her! I talked to her briefly about bleaching the tips of my hair and dying it purple. My boss is convinced I’ve lost my mind. Partially purple hair is nothing. At one point in my life I had a  blue Mohawk and wore safety pins in my ears.

My boss was wandering around outside and asked me who the grey car belonged to. I said it belonged to Denis. He asked, “Who’s Denis?” I point at the concession wagon in the parking lot. He still looks at me like he doesn’t know who I’m talking about. I say, “The Russian.” The light bulb flickered to life. We’ve both known Denis for five years – the last five Mardi Gras’. Crazy. And he tells me I can’t remember anything because I’m old!

And speaking of my boss, as the crowds gathered outside on Friday, he asked me if I wanted the 45 or the 9mm. For a moment I had one of those Ally McBeal fantasy moments and wanted a Gatlin gun. That was replaced with the thought, “I have a really rocking case of PMS – give me both.” I got my silly smirk and just said, “I’ll take the 9.” He handed me the pistol and told me not to let anyone mess with it. 

And now for the bad. I saw Keel and asked how Mike, my tattoo artist was doing. I’d spoken to Mike’s girlfriend Melissa and she said he was going to be okay, just sore. Keel said the hospital called him many days later to tell him he had a broken pelvis and leg. What??? I swear if I ever get injured or gravely ill –someone is driving me back to Florida so I can get some decent health care. This place is ridiculous! During the parades tonight, Mike’s friend Kevin and his wife came in. I can’t remember her name! Ugh! And I KNOW I know it! Damn old age sucks. Anyway, Kevin said the doctors are telling Mike he needs pins in his pelvis/hip. Horrible! Poor Mike. Damn.

My friend Pam back in Florida called me Friday night while the parade was rolling. She said she was heading to Orlando to visit her daughter and babysit her grandson. She sent me a Happy Valentine’s Day text message and I messaged her back. She called a few minutes later telling saying that her house burned to the ground. And she had a gorgeous house! She has been through so much in the last year. This truly sucks.

I have to leave for work even earlier in the morning so I better totter off to bed now.

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